After weeks of rain the sun has come out today, and as I got my son ready for school for some odd reason I reflected my on my life a bit as the morning sun streamed through the windows of our home. I am okay with single motherhood. It's like second nature to me. My mom was a single mother, my sister was a single mother too till she found her husband. Now I am a single mom, and I really can not image my life any different. I did for awhile hope to find love again. I did dream about getting married maybe someday. I guess there still is that little hope in me, but to be honest I am kind of fine if I never do. After so many attempts of trying to "date again" It is really stressful, and I got a happy level of stress in my life right now so I do not want to add more. Me and Zachery are doing just fine just me and him. At this point I am not sure another person in our lives will be a good thing. Zachery is happy with just him and Mom. For a male presence he has forever his beloved uncle who gives him money when he does good in school, and he has his cousin Mark who wrestles with him(much to mom's distress). He has got the balance that he needs.
Zachery has also stopped asking me to find a husband too so he can have a daddy. I think he now knows now what it entails, and he does not want to share mom. He does not even like when they family cat crawls up on my lap! When I was growing up I did not have a Father really either. He did pop in and out which probably has impacted me, and made me the neurotic person I am today. I really did not have a male figure really in my life like my son does, though I did have an older brother. We were apparently close too. In fact his name was my first word. Our closeness was when I baby and very young. He was much older so I was still young when he moved out out to have his own life. So I am okay with single Motherhood, and even though I feel alone in certain areas of this life I do still have my family by my side. Even though they do not see the world as I see it we do agree on the love and raising of this little boy that I have been blessed with. To my Lord I say thank you.
