Single No More

I have learned love can come again. I have learned that what I thought was love before was love no more. In part THIS BLOG HAS COME TO AN END.

There is hope out there for single mothers. WE can find love again. I had not expected it. In fact I did not want it. I had come to terms with being single forever. It was me and my kids against the world.

Apparently the universe thought different for me. I could of resisted, but the heart wants what the heart wants. What was most important though was not that he fell in love with me, he fell in love with my kids too. I had written an article series in the past about Single Motherhood and Dating Again, and I had encounter many who did not respect I was a mother first.

 I am not riding off into the sunset with a happy ending though. I now have to come to the realization I am not a single mom anymore. I am not alone anymore. It can be a bit daunting to realize this.

Perhaps that shall be my new blog. Single Mama No More: Blended Family.

Thank you all who have followed and read my Single Motherhood: Musing of a UNiQue Single Mom.

Single with Twins...Oh and and 8 year old

Greetings all! It has been awhile since I posted last. The reason for that is I had been busy making, baking and birthing babies! On January 15th 2013 (my birthday to be exact) Aidan Daniel and Zane Michael were born (yup twins)! 

AND yes I am single again. Perhaps its my mothers curse. Daughter see Daughter do. My Mother was a single mother, and while I had older siblings they are only half siblings for we all have different fathers. The same is with mine now. The twins father is not the same guy that helped me create my now oldest. So guess that saying is true like Mother like daughter. Okay enough of the somber stuff. I might be single with three kids, but they are all thriving and well. While I am doing much on my own I do have family that has been amazing in helping. Especially my sister who was not so happy at being a auntie again twice over. She also was a haven to newly big brother Zach. Sadly he did not get to see me or his brothers at all till we came home. So he could not prepare his little mind. The homecoming was a shock to him. We are all better now...somewhat...him and Zane are like two peas in a pod. Zane just loves his big brother. Big brother was also the first to make him laugh! Aidan is my shadow. Already I can tell he is so much like me. While Zane is more like his big brother.

My boys from Left Aidan,Zane, Zach

I sometimes though I feel I have failed.  While a blessing from God I feel I failed on my part. I am not where I should be and I am not sure in how to get back on track. The boys are very demanding, time consuming. I wonder how can I leave them. It was hard leaving with my first when he was a baby now I have two! I want to be with them to love and nurture. I want to see their first steps, first words this time that I missed with my oldest. This is impossible I know, but hey a mother can dream.

An Awesome Mommy Moment

Have you ever had an awesome Mommy moment?

Motherhood amazes me, and humbles me for I am always a new mom, even though my bouncing baby boy is 7 years old now. Every stage/age of his life it is like I am a new mom. For every age group you face, faces new challenges.

 Now I am sure I have had other awesome Mommy moments, but this one inspired me to write about it. It is back to school time as we all know. My son is now in second grade. He forgot to pick out his clothes for today last night(Though I told him to do so, he said he was too tired.) so I laid out something for him. Upon wake up he did not like the t-shirt I picked. Then he decided he did not want to wear shorts I picked out for him either he wanted to wear pants. This was all fine till he started throwing a drama fit over his pants. He liked none of his pants now either because they buttoned, and not snap button like his shorts(Seriously my son?)I come in to see his pants were strewn all over the place because he was upset none of them snapped. I tired to reason with him calmly, but to no avail. The drama tantrum pursues he doesn't want to go to school now! He does not like second grade! I look at the clock to see time is running out, as well as my patience. Why must we start the day this way? So I yell he is grounded today and tomorrow over his behavior. If he had picked out his clothes last night like I told him we not be in this mess, but he did not. He finally dresses, but he is now upset with me and does not want me for his mommy anymore. I say fine with me! Now go get socks and shoes on!

We then get into the car and I say, "Zachery can I have a kiss."  He leans over and kisses me, and says. "I love you mommy I am sorry I acted out." I say, "I am sorry I got upset with you too." This was an awesome Mommy moment! What parent and child does not fight? It is when your child then comes and apologizes to you realizing they did do wrong. That is amazing, and I would assume a big thing for a child to do. In honor of that courage I as a parent admit I am sorry too that I lost my temper with him. I love him him no matter how mad I get . My life would be incomplete without him. I think this was an amazing Mommy and child moment don't you? ^_~

Teacher + Parent = Child Success

Have you heard the saying it takes a village to raise a child? I never knew that saying was so true until today. Maybe the saying should be it takes a parent and a good teacher to lead to your child's success. While we may have the no child left behind act my son could of still fallen between the cracks if I wasn't such an annoying parent I think. But my son does have speech, and learning disability so when asking him how his day went its kind of confusing. So it made sense that I want to know everyday how his was? Right? I would of seriously done that, but I didn't...well I tried not to. I didn't want to come off too OCP that stands for Obsessive Compulsive Parenting.

My boy now is in first grade, and at progress report/report card time last year it was not good. If he didn't improve in second quarter he probably would not pass 1st grade. My heart sank and I felt I failed him. The school can only do so much. I need to work with him at home too, and I got a cold reminder of this. I knew this and I slacked on my parental duties. No way was I going to let my son fall behind. I was not going to yell at him either, or ground him.We were in this together. His biggest worry was Reading at the time or progress report/ report card last year he was way way below his level. He also would throw tantrums at the sight of a book like it was his kryptonite. I devised a reading method where got him books I knew he could read which were his kindergarten books. He would read two of those so he was feeling pretty confident. I'd then sneak in a harder book. I did this till we are now reading full bigger books. I am now proud to say as of current in the latest progress report my son is now reading at first grade level. Could even be the best reader at the end of the school year out of the whole class. "Seriously?" My son beams with pride. I just can not believe it. To me this shows that it take both a parent and a teacher to teach our children how to truly soar in education.

*** Parenting Confession*** To be honest there have been times where I just didn't want to practice writing, or reading with my son. I just did not want to put up with the rebel. It be a lot easier to just let him watch TV. Could not do that though we had to conquer the reading beast! Oh while he is doing so good in school still does not stop him from being grounded when you do wrong so mama says!

How Single Motherhood Going so Far

Motherhood is an amazing experience and you never stop learning. You never become a pro at for at every age you encounter new experiences, new obstacles. It doesn't matter if you have done it all before for every little human life is different and filled with new surprises. Our children come from us but they are NOT us. They are not our clones they are their own individual with hopes dreams and ideas all their own. SO how is being a Single Mother so far? Being a single mom has kind of lost all meaning. It is all just about being a new mom. I am still a new mom for every age comes with new challenges and experiences. My little individual is now in first grade, and he is soon going to be 7 years old. I stop and take a look outside myself to see this person that has sprang from me. I just can not believe it! This little boy came from me I made him! I nurtured him inside me for 9 months. There are days I love him to bits, and then there are days where he challenges me oh so much and I wonder what I was thinking! Then as I tuck him into bed and he says. "Mom I love you." I am then reminded perhaps that is why. I wanted someone to grow and take care of. Leave legacy of me perhaps.

As Summer Comes to and End

Ahh summer vacation is coming to and end and school will be starting again. Been awhile since I blogged. The summer has be non-eventful really. Though we did get to go out of town to the lake. I am not sure why I did not enroll him into some summer fun activity because its been a VERY LOOOONG summer. I thought me, and my son could have a nice family summer together. Things never work out like you planned in your head do they? Still the lowly single mom writer that I am(that's me!) we have no Internet at home anymore so I go to the local coffee shop everyday to get my work orders and business been busy, and slow then busy again. Why did I not enroll him in some summer camp I do not know. My son is a people person unlike me. As my Mother once said I am like Greta Garbo with "I vant to be alone." The boy is an only child you's think he'd be used to this by now, but he is not.

He is a child who would do well with many siblings. He has even asked for a sibling. While other kids may be fine with just them and their parent(s) but then Mom goes and ruins it all by having another kid making them feel left out. I think my own brother was that way, but I digress am a tired mom who can not wait for school to start again.