Your sick and your a Single Mom, and flu shots are evil

It seems when Mom is sick the world falls apart. I got a flu shot, but it seems Ive been sicker now than I was last year when I did not have one...wait I was only sick once last year and that was in APRIL! I am refusing flu shots next season cause I'm healthier without them. I got one and I now have been sick twice. Sadly it did not keep me out of his office like he had hoped. Okay now I got that off my chest. Yes it seems the world falls apart when mommy is sick. I kind of feel sorry for my son cause I did not want him to get sick and so Ive kind of banned him for hugging me a lot and playing with me and cuddling with me and giving me kisses. I'm like sweetie I don't want you to get sick. Whatever I had gives you high fevers all day and that on a 4 year old(almost 5) body is dangerous. Ive been praying to keep him healthy. Its like he an incubator for the germs and I catch the illness not him. Which I am totally happy with. I will get sick a million times over if it keeps him healthy. I was just sick the week before Halloween and was not sure I was going to be well for trick or treating but I was and he was happy. Now once again I am sick again. My son has done pretty well understanding mommy is sick not to get too close and I remind him he can't do the things he normally does with me. My sister has been a little bit helpful she fed him one day cause I was so not feeling like cooking and plus Id just give him a bowl of my germs probably. Monday I went to doctor got tested for Strep throat, Mono and they both came up negative so I was told it probably viral and I got some antibiotics and was told to rest. My sister was kind and picked my son up from the bus after school and apparently while he was happy to see his auntie he goes "Where's my mommy." That touched my heart so. My gods this little person really does love me and I am his world as he is my world. His sweetness can only last so long though as he now is like hmm mommy is sick lets see what I can get away with. Mommy is sick yes but not that sick. As I am starting to feel better my son takes notice though. Yesterday he came to me and said. "Mommy I miss you." Ive been here all this time but also Ive been a bit distant with him too for not wanting him to catch what I had. So last night we cuddled for the first time in a long time it seemed and he fell asleep in my arms. Awww

Blessings mixed

You are waiting in line at the checkout when the woman before you with a little boy in tow goes way over her food stamp about and has to take things back. What posses you to say that you will pay for the rest of her groceries? An Angel?

Random acts of kindness are so rare. Especially when the acts of kindness come at a price in my life. This is what happened to me. I only had 50 dollars I went way over my limit. I'm not sure what I was thinking I do this all the time. My mind is so frazzled and you got a kid in tow wanting everything. One of the things though I got him for supplies for his cakes. Which was so happy about and goes, "mommy we gotta take away my cake?" I was not going to take away his cake but as I was shamelessly removing item after item the lady behind me waiting said put the rest on her card. I was stunned. I told her thank you and tears started to flow. I broke after trying to be so strong of the mess I have made my life. I hugged her and thanked her and I think the cashier was near tears too. They just did not know how much that meant to me. Me a single struggling mom. I actually though felt pathetic that my life has come to this. I'm such a loser. So we got more food, but its gotta last us the whole month yet I my a 4 almost 5 year old that want to eat everything I bought in one day. Gods how do I deal with that? I want to feed my son but he can not eat a whole bag or box of something just for lunch. It has to last us!

I'm snapping!Let add also he wants his cake now and is refusing to understand its not his birthday yet and I'm completely broke and bills are adding my body hurts and I fractured cracked or did something the hell to my toe. Can't wear a shoe and your sister calls you a pussy wuss! But that a whole another thing I probably need therapy for. My woes stem from that probably and I'm not being the best mommy I can be. My son see his mommy put down and he get put down at well. They think they mean no harm but it just stings me every time my son told he is a bad butt. He can be naughty what child is not? He is also good and I remind him of that and not to become the negative that is told of him...like it seems I have become.