On November 23rd 2004 after 15 hours of labor my son Zachery William Prince Cramlett was born. After looking at my life of 35 years so far this was truly the happiest day of my life. For those who read this Zachery was a blessing not an oops. Single motherhood I chose on my own. Some days I wonder why though, and then there are some days I am reminded aha that is why. Right now I'm having one of the those wonders why moments as we come down from the birthday high, and my daily dose of I'm a worthless loser mother. No this is not pity its desperate plea to understand where this all went wrong.
Yes thanks for all the love and support to my precious family out there. I thank you mom for sheltering me from the cold cruel world to where I can not now function in today's society. I thank you for trying to mold me to think, breath, and be you and lose all sense of myself. I thank you sister dear for seeing this weakness in me and starting to trash me again and to pick up where our beloved mother left off to try and control me into what you thought I should do. No matter what I say my words will never reach you. I am alone in this because I can never speak the truth of my heart because it does not want to be heard and dealt with. I am sorry now Zachery I let you into this crazy world. I thank you though for choosing me to be your mommy. I know I'm a good mommy to you, for you are totally happy and such a sweet little boy. It will be okay though and I shall just brush this off as another bad day.
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